April 20, 2004

More idiotic email questions graciously answered

Oh my, was there a load of idiots who wrote in today. Take this one for example:

Hey Bird Brain,

I have been spending many days chasing down a monster. Yes, a monster. This monster is the spawn of the Dark King of all Demonic Monsters and wakens me each morning at 6:00 AM sharp.

Oh, that tongue and that breath. Stop licking my face, you vile beast!

Do all bulldogs do that? This bulldog, besides being a demon, is retarded. Do you think anyone will care if I kill IT?

Curious George, but not the one that is a monkey

Well, my curious questioner. I normally only answer one question per idiot and you have posed two. The answer you seek is yes. Please apply such liberally and learn to live with your fellow creatures. I share a habitat with a bulldog, as well, as you likely know. Otherwise you were really taking a shot in the dark by asking me that pair of idiotic questions. However, I have learned that idiots, if nothing else, are highly unpredictable. Again, the answer is yes.

Posted by Bird Brain at April 20, 2004 09:33 PM
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