August 30, 2004

We may not be alone on this world

This conquering job is getting hairier and hairier with each passing day. At the advice of that farting maniac that decontaminated the armory, gladly given after I proffered the two dead bodies for his examination and graciously agreed to relinquish possession of such to his care, I allowed him to surround this house with a force barrier designed to violently repel any cheese thrown toward it. The barrier itself is invisible and admits any substance that does not contain cheese or some other form of lactic acid. I was stationed on the porch, cleaning and repairing my assortment of ray guns now that I can freely enter the armory again, and, while doing so, was watching an unruly throng of dissidents hurtling cheeseballs in my direction. They all seemed to be very surprised when their biological projectiles mysteriously rebounded and landed in their midst. During the early morning hours, I also observed a group of eloquently dressed human females slowly moving among the houses in the neighborhood, going, as a group, from door to door. I assumed their actions were an attempt to raise support for the dissident's cause. Of the group of five women, however, three found themselves thrown to the gutter as they attempted to cross the invisible barrier. I suspect that they were spies attempting to smuggle cheese through the barrier in their blouses as it appeared that as soon as their chests came into contact with the barrier, they were thrown violently backward. The two older ladies had no such difficulty, however, and were allowed to walk easily through the barrier. I graciously allowed them to alert me to the purpose of their visit, which they falsely stated was to locate new members to attend the local Methodist Church, before I used the freshly charge ray gun in my hand to disintegrate them into a pile of soft gray ash. I thereafter zapped the other three. It appearing that the force field does nothing to diminish the ray emissions from my ray guns, I am now busily zapping cheese chunking dissidents with my just repaired ray cannon. The sight of that group scurrying about screaming as they witness the devastation of the ray is hilarious -- at least, it is hilarious to me.

Posted by Zongo the Ruthless at August 30, 2004 11:49 AM

Actually, we've managed to get a large quantity of powdered dairy substance through his "shield" and now, upon turning this watering hose on... YES!

Reconstituted cheeses of very type, flavour, and yes, smell!

You know, for a forward thinging blob, Zongo ain't all that bright.

Oops! A large wheel of Mozzarella just impaled itsself on his ray gun, and it backfired... hmmm. Saganaki anyone?


Posted by: Dangermouse at August 31, 2004 12:15 PM
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