Well, I easily defeated the mice, the cats, most of the birds, save the brigade of flatulent flamingos, and now I find I am besieged by dogs. I have had a pack of them following me everywhere I attempted to scoot during my day today, despite my every attempt to shoo them away. I even blasted a dozen or so with my ray gun, disintegrating them into so much ash, but the pack continued to come after me, despite having witnessed my ease in destruction of such a large number of their group. It is as if they have no concern for any members of their own species save themselves. Thankfully, however, I was able to evade their pursuit and am now adequately concealed within this blue box that contains a small bench or seat of some sort. I am unsure of the purpose of this blue box, but it may have something to do with that highly irritating and pungent odor that seems to hover around the place. Still, I find that I can now peaceably consume the massive amounts of meat by-products that I had stored in my pockets earlier today.
Yes, I have returned from Krypton, where I roundly and soundly placed that malcontent, Jor-El, in his place. I trashed his pad, ravished his woman, and slapped that stupid kid of his around. I tell you, that kid of his, Kip or Kal or something like that, is so stupid. It is not hard to see that he is one kid that will not go very far in life. I am laying odds that Kal-El will smother himself in his baby blanket before he learns to talk.
Now, what was that crap about flamingo farts? Be there foul fowl on the prowl, secretly plotting my downfall? As long as we seem to be speaking of ignorance, is it really true that a large number of people in that decadent society which refers to itself as America is planning to fill its leader's house with two different johns already filled so full of crap that they are already guilty of continually spewing it upon deluded denizens?
And to the reader who wondered why Ming is Merciless while I am simply Ruthless, it was due to his cheating. We were thumb-wrestling for the first choice. He caused Anna Kournikova to flash her ta-tas in my face, which of course, distracted me from my winning efforts. That Ming is truly merciless, you see, and literal master of winning both by hook and by crook -- so there was absolutely no way to steal his crown. As for Anna Kournikova --- no one really thought she was actually from this planet, did they? There is nothing on Earth as beautiful as she.
Kneel before me, puny Earthlings! I am Zongo the Ruthless, Conquerer of Hapless Worlds! I have already crushed your puny mouse warriors, vanquished the poorly trained attacking cats, eviserated and dined upon the flying fowl who valiantly swarmed about me. I am coming for you . . . as soon as I return from quelling yet another rebellion on Krypton. That rabble-rousing Jor-El is quickly becoming a real pain in the butt. If he doesn't watch it, I will blow his planet to bits, right before his very eyes.
You are forthwith and verily commanded to watch this space until further order.
Man, are some men ever strange. Some ol' Egyptian guy is thoroughly pissed and lookin' for a divorce 'cause he discovered that his new young bride was bald as a billiard ball on their weddin' night. Accordin' to the story:
The woman had lost her hair after an illness at a young age and had worn a wig ever since.The groom, however, announced:
"One of the things I liked about her was her beautiful long hair - I was horrified to find on our wedding night that it was a wig."In discussin' the story, lawrenkm quipped:
--Glad he married for love.I sorely suspect this couple really didn't know each other well enough to have wed in the first place, but in the list of all the things I might find out about a woman to make me think she was not worthy of my attention, havin' a head full of hair is not high on the list. In actuality, I have always thought totally bald women were sexy as all get-out.
I just heard that paper money has been found to lead to impotence in most men. As I am childless, single and not getting any, I suppose I might as well take all that nasty impotence cause paper money off ya'll's hands. Just send it to me.
I don't know how many of ya'll know me, or how many know why I actually began this site, but for some reason, the crisis kinda blew over and I went a different direction. Well, actually, I have found that I never quite got back on the same track as I was on with my other project, and, I suspect that with all the eyes a'watchin' that space, I might never be able to do so. Therefore, I might as well use this space for its actual intended use. This is me -- I just have a paper sack over my head so that no one knows who I actually am. Ya'll got that?