Wow! This is such a lovely planet. Here I awoke a bit sore from the dance at Khan's palace a couple of light years past Alpha Centauri, as your species calls that distant shining energy generation ball of hydrogen. I am a bit behind on daily quota in my zapping mission and I really needed to zap a whole bunch of you puny humans today to catch up. I was expecting a miserable day of having to travel here and there to locate one hundred thousand idiots in a group close enough together so that I would only need to use one K-cell battery's worth of energy to convert to ash with my ray gun.
Well, as things go in my life, I opened my door to see a long line of people begging to be zapped today. There was easily five hundred thousand backed up for miles and miles. It was unbelievable. I do not ever remember a time in my life when I have found such a cooperative species to conquer. I have them voluntarily collecting themselves into a big pile out in the yard as I write this. As soon as I get the word that they are near completion of this huge pile of human flesh, I will go shine my ray gun on the pile until there is nothing left but ash. I will be a day ahead of schedule, which means that I can take tomorrow off. As it is Friday the 13th on your planet, I must accede to local rules and avoid any unnecessary activity on the morrow.
Posted by Zongo the Ruthless at August 12, 2004 02:02 PM