September 09, 2004

My triumphant return!

All Hail ME! Yes, the great and valiant Zongo returns to conquer your puny species, but with a fresh championship buckle from winning the Universal Planet Conqueror Sumo Wrestling Contest. Although Ming the Merciless took first place in almost every other contest held, he is a lightweight and did not even qualify for the Quarterfinals in Sumo Wrestling Event. Actually, both myself and my eventual opponent in the Final Match went undefeated to that point, as we have these past three years. However, unlike the previous three years, Jabba the Hut did not prevail. Nope, this year, yours truly, Zongo the Ruthless, is the Sumo Wrestling Champion of the Universe. There will be a zapping moratorium in celebration of my victory for the next 24 hours, except for any who wish to launch any lactic acid containing products into my headquarters during such period. Let me change that. I am going to engage the automatic zap cannon with the motion detector, whose range is 500 yards, so everyone who remains a distance of 500 yards or more from my headquarters will be spared from any chance of being zapped for the next 24 hours. Now, can I hear a round of cheers for your fearless conqueror, Zongo?

Posted by Zongo the Ruthless at September 9, 2004 04:07 PM

I'm losing faith in you. Sumo Wrestling? You are no commander, you are a threat to the mission! Your methods are stupid, your intelligence is stupid, your progress has been STUPID! For the sake of the mission, you must be terminated! Maybe I'll just zap you myself, and be done with it.

Posted by: Gir at September 10, 2004 12:13 AM

No fear....allies of rats (unaffiliated with Mr. Mouse) have booby trapped the headquarters with TrimSpa. Soon, Zongo The Ruthless will not qualify for Sumo. Maybe Calamari, with all those tenticles.

hey, if it can work for Anna Nicole Smith, it can work on some huffa-puffa overblown alien.

Oh wait, they're the same thing.


Posted by: Roxette Bunny at September 10, 2004 06:00 AM

Phffffft. We'll believe your story when we see the championship belt, Bongo.

Posted by: david at September 12, 2004 09:12 AM


Posted by: adwjj at July 1, 2005 06:13 AM
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